A Great Dog

I wandered over to Jon Katz' blog. (I'm on the iPad so just search,"Bedlam Farm Journal.") Here's what he says ...

"What makes a great dog?

A great dog enters your life at an important point, and helps define it.

A great dog is happy in your presence.

A great dog prefers you to almost anything, except possibly food.

A great dog makes you smile. And laugh.

And opens your heart and soul, if you are open to it.

A great dog connects you to people.

A great dog communicates with you, beyond consciousness,

beyond words.

A great dog teaches you patience.

And makes you vulnerable to such a great love.

A great dog is a great thing..."

He's talking about his dog, Lenore.

For me, Tucker is a great dog. He is all of these things to me.

But, he is much more. He is a troubled dog - he is often an afraid dog. He didn't have many people friends when he was grown. (This is despite the fact that he was called 'Crush' - his litter name - before he was 8 weeks of age.) Something happened. Was it me? Was it my neediness? Was it one of the rabies vaccines? Was it who he was?

Sarah, one of my first teachers of dog behavior, once spat cheese his way to reward him. This was when he was three or four. Ever since that day if you push your lips like you will 'spit' toward him - he turns away and leaves. One trial learning.

I want to see him for who he is. And, almost everything I see in him is a reflection of me.

It brings me back to what I was listening to yesterday - I was thinking about the neurobiology of attachment. I was also thinking about mirror neurons. I was thinking about why dogs fill such a voice for me. Tara Brach (Meditation and Psychotherapy) was talking about how our mom's mirror us and how important that is for children in developing attachment. I was thinking about how important dogs are for many of us. I was thinking about how my own 'attachment' to my mother, my parents, wasn't/isn't great. I was thinking about mothering and how hard it is to mirror another when we don't know who we (ourselves) are. I was thinking about how dogs may be evolutionarily programmed to mirror us - and I was thinking of what a gift that is to those of us who were never mirrored.

Tucker is a great dog.

"A great dog enters your life at an important point, and helps define it." Tucker came to me before I learned to teach, to train. Any skill I have in that realm came as a result of my having to learn to live with (and keep safe) a difficult dog. His fear led me to have to be a better handler, an aware and more centered person.

"A great dog is happy in your presence." I learned to 'lead' to 'be' with calmness. This formed a place of holding for Tucker - certainly not physically. He never liked to be touched that much. But, our relationship was a 'holding' one, none the less. He 'held' me and I him.

"A great dog prefers you to almost anything, except possibly food." It felt good to be someone's 'special' someone...the important someone. And, he was mine.

"A great dog makes you smile. And laugh." Yes. He does. And, I hope that I make him happy.

"And opens your heart and soul, if you are open to it." I've learned courage. I've learned strength. I've learned not to be defined by the behavior of the dog who is with me. I've learned that it is ok to not be perfect and to not have my dog be perfect. I've learned to accept embarrassment for the good of another.

"A great dog connects you to people." Tucker is the pivotal connection to many of my women friends. We may not see each other (except on Facebook) but we do keep in touch. We understand what it is to love and to work at that love.

"A great dog communicates with you, beyond consciousness, beyond words." All I can say is 'yes." I'm not sure what Katz means by this sentence but, yes. I feel a connection. I experience communication. I 'know' this dog at a depth that I don't often allow myself to know others.

"A great dog teaches you patience." Enough said?

"And makes you vulnerable to such a great love." And, being present when that love is uncomfortable.

"A great dog is a great thing."

Tucker is a great dog.


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad