Chemotherapy - Round 2

This morning Tucker and I are at Red Bank Veterinary for his second chemotherapy treatment. The first round was very, very difficult for him. At times it left us wondering if this was the right path, if we should just let him go. But, he had some really, really good days after the nausea and lethargy were over. So, here we are again.

It appears they might lower the dose this time - that is good.

It's a struggle for me to remember that this is about quality of life. When he has good days, I want to 'forget' that he has cancer. I want to think that this is going away. But, it isn't.

My commitment to myself during this process is to be present with it and to not try to distract myself from what is real. It's hard. There are days when I am more successful than others. I find it hardest when he is happy and well. I go slipping back into my comfortable dream that has this particular dog in my life for the long term, forever.

There have been so, so many changes in my life during the 9 years he has been here. I don't even know who I'll be without this 'being' In my life.




- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Location:Hance Ave,Tinton Falls,United States